You know...they always say "Be careful what you wish for." and...they say..."The grass is always greener". Well, not sure who the heck "they" are, but I resent that they are right, darn it! Since I began this fabulous art journey, I have been working hard, traveling to learn from the best, making connections and along with (what I believe) my natural teaching skills and ability to sell myself, I have some amazing opportunities. Yippee! grants, exhibitions, teaching gigs all over! It's all good, right?Well, I have realized that each stage in the journey does not look or feel quite like you expect it to when you get there. I had never expected to be so torn about being away from family, especially now that the kids are a bit older. I had expected to set off in a cute sporty car, kisses at the door, return home to long hours in the studio and time with my husband and boys, making money to contribute and have a bit left for some pretty shoes or a even a family vacation. But, alas, I have tears at the door (my own), some orange crocs ("pretty" does not come to mind) and no money left to fix my rusty van let alone a week at the HoJo in Newfoundland.
I know the time will come when it all gets a little easier, but if it doesn't that just has to be okay. When it comes down to it,, this is what I do. I am an artist. Don't we all have to take the good with the other (I won't even call it "bad"). I have learned this summer that I need to book less art travel/teaching during the summer months. Learning that is a very good thing.
So, today I head to immerse myself in my craft for 12 days (thank you Ontario Arts Council!) and to see wonderful feltmaking friends. The grass will be greener in "art land"...until I get there.
Visit my site www.andrea-graham.com
You're scaring me. I want all those things too.
ReplyDeletei think it's great that, although the reality right now, isn't quite as you'd wish for - you still have the desire and drive to continue on your path.
ReplyDeletenothing worthwhile ever came easy (unfortunately!)
i've made a few small steps on my journey to be a designer maker and boy it's much harder than i imagined - but i wouldn't change a thing (well ... maybe a couple!) and i keep trying to tell myself that this is a steep learning curve.
the pretty shoes will come in time :)